Are you the kind of person that is always telling your friends about what’s happening in your sex life? Or are you the kind of person that feels uncomfortable when someone brings up sex, maybe escapes to the bathroom to avoid that feeling of awkwardness? Each and every person has varying degrees of their openness to discuss sex, which may or may not be an issue.
The private person
The private person is the person out there who is unwilling to share details of their lives with others, except perhaps with a very select inner circle. Some people simply enjoy their privacy more and don’t like to reveal intimate details very readily. This person may or may not be awkward with others talking about sex around them; however, it isn’t as likely. They are more likely to simply omit their own experiences in the matter and still be interested in the conversation. The private person should only be of concern when they are not opening up about personal matters to anyone in their lives – everyone should have someone they’re able to talk to.
There are some people that simply love talking about sex in every way shape and form. For some circles, this can be seen as over-sharing. For others, it’s all well and good and simply a part of who that person is. The sharer may or may not be aware of the effects of their openness on others. It is important for the sharer to try and notice if they are making others uncomfortable often, and perhaps dial things back a bit. The sharer is the opposite of people who can’t talk about sex. If they had their way, it would crop up in every conversation – they see it as a wonderful part of life to be explored and wished everyone else would feel the same.
The person who’s afraid of being judged
For some, there is a large fear of judgement from others, particularly when it comes to sex. People may fear that the sexual urges and ideas that they have are “not normal” and others will look down on them for having those particular thoughts and feelings. The irony is, there’s a whole range of what’s considered “normal”, probably a lot wider than you may think. For instance, a man who’s curious about what it’s like to be like with another man may not bring this up with anyone for fear of being judged, but it’s likely something one of his friends, colleagues, or family has thought about at some point in time, too.
The embarrassed person
Sometimes, when a person is brought up never talking about sex, and having it always as a “taboo” subject, they can feel very embarrassed still, later down the track, if it is brought up in conversation – this is likely due to their conditioning when they were younger. If a person goes bright red talking about sex, then this is a sure sign they’re the embarrassed person. While many of us were taught that sex is a natural and loving activity, still others were taught that it was dirty, only for man and wife, or not talked about it at all. This can make it harder for them to open up about it as an adult.
No matter which one of these particular archetypes you are (or aren’t), the only thing that is important is that you can talk about sex (at least to some degree) with your partner. Whether you talk about it with friends or not is up to you – although they may be of some assistance if you’re having troubles in your sex life if they have had similar past experiences. Being able to chat frankly with your partner about sex should be an important part of your relationship, and one that you shouldn’t neglect.
If you find yourself unable to talk to your partner about sex in the way that you feel, then it might be time to consider getting professional help. Engaging the services of a couples counsellor, or a sexologist can be very beneficial in helping couples to communicate effectively about their desires and concerns in their sex lives. Having a wonderful, loving sex life is only generally possible if you learn to communicate properly with your partner about sex, rather than dancing around the issues or just pretending they aren’t there. If you are in this situation, try accessing some counselling or psychology services to help you both out.
Read More : Why We Don’t Talk About Sex